Are you tired of feeling like a responsible adult every time you make a mortgage payment? Well, have no fear, because, with just a few simple steps, you too can join the exclusive club of mortgage defaulters!

Step 1: Stop Making Payments

The first and most obvious step to handling a mortgage default is to simply stop making payments. This will give you the feeling of financial freedom and allow you to enjoy life’s little pleasures, like ramen noodles and tap water. Just make sure to inform your lender that you won’t be sending any more payments their way by writing them a formal letter, or simply ignoring their calls.

Step 2: Rent Out Your Home

To make the most out of your mortgage default, consider renting out your home. Not only will you finally have a tenant to take care of the lawn, but you’ll also have a steady stream of income to pay for those ramen noodles. Just be sure to check your state’s laws before you start advertising your property on Craigslist, as there may be restrictions on renting out a foreclosed property.

Step 3: Blame it on the Dog

When your lender comes knocking, it’s always good to have a believable excuse for why you stopped making payments. A classic favorite is blaming it on the dog. Simply tell your lender that your furry friend ate it. Who could argue with that logic?

Step 4: Embrace the Nomadic Lifestyle

Once you’ve defaulted on your mortgage, you may find that you’re not exactly welcome in your own home. That’s when it’s time to embrace the nomadic lifestyle and hit the road! Not only will you be free from the burden of homeownership, but you’ll also get to see all the amazing sights the world has to offer. Just be sure to pack a sleeping bag and a sense of adventure.

Step 5: Live Happily Ever After

By following these simple steps, you too can join the ranks of mortgage defaulters and live happily ever after. Just remember, with great financial freedom comes great responsibility… to avoid the repo man.

Disclaimer: The above article is meant for humor purposes only and is not intended to provide financial advice or encourage mortgage default. It is important to always make payments on time and work with your lender to find a solution if you are struggling to do so.

But if that train left the station, drop into the Short Sale and Foreclosure lane for expert guidance to the next stop in life.